Spiritual Exercise: Body Awareness

 

I don’t want to deal only in theory, but am looking also for transformative practice. I believe that challenging oppression is central spiritual work. This is the first of what I hope will be a series of practices for awareness, repentance, and reparations (which for the moment I am thinking of as the core of spiritual practice for privileged people).

 

Assumptions: 90% of communication is non-verbal and a huge part of that is precognitive, Body language is a primary key to what and who we value. (Thank you Maia)

 

Decide on a period of time, for example one day, that you will make a commitment to pay constant attention to what your body is communicating. During this time pay attention to:

-Who/what are you facing? Where do your feet, shoulders nose point? What about your back?

-How much space are you taking? Are you slouching down and extending your

legs in front, throwing your arm out over the back of the chair? How do you claim ownership of space and how much do you claim in relation to others?

-How and to who do you show openness and closedness? When and to who do you lean in and when do you lean back? When do you find yourself crossing your arms and legs, making or breaking eye contact etc? What gestures do you use to show interest or disinterest?

 

 

Each time you notice what your body is communicating, think about if it is what you want to say. Note who and what you are valuing. Note how this relates to systems of oppression (white supremacy, patriarchy, heterosexism, etc) or pick one form of oppression to focus on each time. If /when you notice that what/who you are privileging doesn’t fit with what you would want change your body language. At the end of the time reflect on what you have noticed about your nonverbal communication and how it feels when you consciously change postures or actions that were “natural” or un-thought. If you are a writer write, if you are a talker talk, but really process well.

 

Repeat until the awareness of what you are communicating and the habit of correcting if it is not what you intend become more natural.

 

If you try this please share experiences and critiques. Please share as well other forms of non-verbal communication to be aware of.

 

Chimptraining

I realize that the name of this blog probably makes very little sense in relation to the content. It is directly related I promise.

 

Some time ago my partner and I were fascinated by an article in Newsweek or Time, can’t remember which. The article was about a study done with chimpanzees that showed that male chimps would forgo any amount of food to look at a female chimp in estrus. The more pertinent part of the article to this blog was that they would also give up food to look at a picture of a chimp higher in the social hierarchy than themselves, and more food the higher up the hierarchy the other chimp was.

 

Since that time we have in our own conversations refered to it as acting like a chimp when someone, often me, acts irrationally to fit into the social hierarchy. I’ve noticed that not only do people often put all of their focus on the person that they think is most important in the room, but because of the systems of domination we have created they are often wrong about who that person is. Often when the peroson who actually has the most influence or knowledge in a situation still gets passed over because they are not an old white male and there is an old white male in the room.

 

From this in my own head I think of anti-oppression work as retraining a chimp not to react irrationally to fit into and create hierarchy, or at the very least to really recognoze where the important people are. My inner chimp still has need of much training, and interrogating the systems of thought that formed me in relation to the world is an aspect of that training that I feel is primary.

sins of white christianity

So you might have gathered that I would like to hold onto some form of my christian identity but have strong doubts about whether it is possible to do that as a white man and not be immoral. Some quick thoughts on the central problems with white christianity and what might be steps to address them

 

Sins of white christianity

Arrogance and supremacy: Not only is christianity the way, this is actually more open to debate in some parts of the white church, but christianity is white. The history of christianity taught in white churches and in the white bible college is a white European history. christianity is whiteness or the best of whiteness.

 

Selective memory : white christianity remembers coming to the us for religious freedom but rarely it’s religiously justified extermination, displacement and forced conversion of native americans; it remembers white missionaries from Europe and the us going around the world building schools and hospitals and preaching the “good news,” but not the intimate links between those missionaries and military and economic forces that raped and enslaved the lands; the role of white christians (to the extent that you would think it was a white christian movement) in the abolitionist movement and not the role of white christians and christian theology in creating and supporting the slave system; etc…. etc.. etc…

 

 Disingenuous excuses: They weren’t really christians they were just using the name of christianity to manipulate less sophisticated whites. That’s not real christianity it’s a bad interpretation (if we tossed out the rest of the interpretations put forward by the same people who made the theological justifications for racism and empire there would be no white christianity)

 

An unwillingness to take responsibility and insistence on cheap grace: It was all in the past and we didn’t do it, or we have asked god’s forgiveness and it is behind us, or maybe at best we made a public apology to the people we hurt

 

if there is a chance for redemption it will require a deep repentance

 

turning from christian supremacy and centrality: if christianity can be redeemed and take a just place in the world it cannot continue to hold either that it is the way or that it is the best way. It will have to find a way to see itself separate from whiteness.

 

Acknowledgement of the role of the white church, white christians, and white christian theology in colonization conguest genocide slavery etc:  clearly stating that history bears out that it is not an aberration but a norm of white christianity to be a tool of oppression. Giving up easy excuses and really looking to find what is wrong in the soul of white christianity with the goal of eradicating the sickness of racism. Re-evaluating the whiteness of christianity with the realization not only that from Christ to Saint Augustine many of the formers of the movement were not white, but with a firm stance that any theologian who was willing to provide theological cover to racism and colonization that willingness is basis to reevaluate not only those specific statements but the fullness of their theological thought, that is basically a full re-evaluation of white western christianity

 

Acceptance of responsibility and discussion of how to make reparations with concrete action at each step: saying worry is not enough the influence and wealth of the churches like that of the society they come from is built on racism and colonization. How to give up power and give back resources should be a central discussion and living it out a central experiment in the life of the white christian and the white church.

i feel guilty

I feel guilty because I’m not so far raising our daughter in the church. Growing up the church was a second home and second family to me. It was the place where I really experienced the feeling of belonging I still long for.

 

I can’t imagine being back in that community though, or wanting my daughter to grow in it. I feel that the sense of belonging that felt so positive was very much based on setting the boundaries of who didn’t and couldn’t belong. I think that the exclusivity of the christian message that I was taught is deeply connected to the racism of white christianity. It was always very clear that this one true way grew in europe and spread from there to the rest of the world (though never explicit that the missionary movement was the constant frontline and justification for all the brutal colonization that accompanied it). The white man’s burden to civilize and the christian burden to evangelize are one and the same. It was out of fashion and politically incorrect to talk about the white man’s burden so I didn’t encounter that term until later in life, but the christian burden was very clear.

 

I drifted from that evangelical formation and on paper am now a member of the episcopal church. In the episcopal churches that I attended it was quite rare to hear a call to convert the world to christianity. The talk was more about the endeavor to create god’s justice in the world. The tone still carried more subtly the same burden though. It is our job to give what we have to the lesser who don’t.  I think that the priests and parishioners that I worshiped would be horrified that I say that and would argue that the never would say such a thing (unlike the evangelicals who would proudly embrace the burden to evangelize), but the justice of god was damn near identical to the positions of the white american peace and justice movement (which happily goes around the world telling people who are oppressed by white America to turn the other cheek).

 

Still I dream of going back sometimes. I miss the eucharist and really think that the open table is about as near as one can come to a symbol of the world I want to live in. I haven’t communicated for years now though. I have gone  a few times and ended up walking out early because looking around I saw that now matter how open the table was in theory, who was allowed to serve and receive, in practice it was still closed. Maybe I’ve been to the wrong places? There is a part of me that still hopes I will find a truly open table and community that I could proudly take my daughter into.

 

 

why theology

Why do this work in the form of theological reflection? Didn’t I say earlier that christianity (my theological background) is a crime? Well to be honest I’m a bit obsessed and always have been. I was a bible student and expected to be a preacher. Theology and the concept of god have been my primary tools for organizing my worldview and judging my ethical decisions. Of course my theology has evolved dramatically, or maybe it is a long string of conversions. Maybe at some pointI’ll stop finding that frame useful.

I know that faith gives meaning to so many people and the power to struggle on. What I want to avoid is just stealing that faith and power the way that christians before me stole other faiths and powers. I am more and more realizing that it is a particular crime of the white christian left to steal or co-opt the strains of christianity that have grown in opposition to white christian hegemony (I use race but think analogous critiques could be made relating to other oppressions that the broad mainstream of christianity has always propped up, basically all of them).

So I feel a central piece of the work that I have to do is to interogate the faith that formed me. I love the symbols and stories that shaped me and I’m looking for ways to continue to use them, but I have to be entirely honest that I’m very little interested in recapturing some original lost truth or staying in the trajectory of traditional understanding. I want the  stories and symbols to change me into something better and give me strength to struggle honestly people who are changing the world.

I would say that I am not or do not want to be christian in the sense that I think it is essential to christianity to keep a special, privileged place for itself. At this point in the path I would say I am christian in the sense that the stories and symbols that resonate in me are christian, and that the history and formation I am trying to sort are christian. I don’t know in the end what of all this will remain of value and what will have to be jettisoned but I know that so far each piece I’ve lost of the neat christian package I used to carry has hurt and so I let go slowly.

Maybe I’m crazy but I still believe in prayer and really am looking for spiritual disciplines to help me on the path of transformation.

liberation theology

I was first exposed to liberation theology in high school. From that time I devoured latin american theologians for a while and have followed with phases of reading feminist, womanist, queer etc political theologies. These writers and their thoughts have helped to make life seem meaningful to me and to push me forward in having a life of political concern and involvement (meaning attempting to engage the world for justice, not electoral politics).

Throughout I have had what I am beginning to consider a very immoral and shallow relationship with the theology though. It is easy to agree that god is on the side of the oppressed and then decide that you also will take that side. To say that you oppose the oppressive powers that be and even do work that opposes government policy or other institutions. What is missing is a strong recognition that the powers that oppress are most often me. I think that it is irresponsible for me as a white western man…… to appropriate other peoples struggles for liberation and not deeply delve into how my identity is tied to oppression. Theology from the margins is beautiful, but what of a theology from the center that denies the right of the center to exist and honestly takes responsibility for where it comes from.

We need a clear end to the idea that the center is as it should be and we will just bring others in, bring them up to our level. The challenge is to discover an approach to our spiritual lives that focuses on the destruction (not ignorance or denial) of the categories that center us. It will never be enough to be a good man, a progressive christian, an unprejudiced white, an accepting heterosexual. I want to learn how to be not.

I know that in some senses I can’t just drop an identity, say from now on I am no longer_____________, but if first I can learn not to act the oppressive identity that would be a step. Maybe when my masculinity and sexuality are always in question when white people begin to refer to me as self hating…. Maybe I’ll be able to glimpse what is next. And thus my penance.

I’m not looking to create guilt to feel bad about life. I am looking for real ways to change how I act in the world at each level of interaction from how I walk into a room to who I read, towhat social movements I align myself with and how. I’m hoping the journey will be exciting.

The Religious Cancer of Racism

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/12/story_1236.html

The Religious Cancer of Racism

White theologians should study racism as seriously as they investigate the historical Jesus James H. Cone

People often ask me whether I am still angry as when I wrote Black Theology and Black Power. When I hear that question I smile to contain my rage: I remain just as angry because America, when viewed from the perspective of the black poor, is no closer to Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream of a just society than when he was killed. While the black middle class has made considerable economic progress, the underclass, despite America’s robust economy, is worse off now than in 1968. The statistics are well known, yet they still fail to shock or outrage most Americans.

America is still two societies: one rich and middle-class and the other poor and working-class. William J. Wilson called the underclass “the truly disadvantaged,” people with few skills to enable them to compete in this technological, informational age. To recognize the plight of the poor does not require academic dissection. It requires only a drive into the central cities of the nation to see people living in places not fit for human habitation.

What deepens my anger today is the appalling silence of white theologians on racism in the United States and the modern world. Whereas this silence has been partly broken in several secular disciplines, theology remains virtually mute. From Jonathan Edwards to Walter Rauschenbusch and Reinhold Niebuhr to the present, progressive white theologians, with few exceptions, write and teach as if they do not need to address the radical contradiction that racism creates for Christian theology. They do not write about slavery, colonialism, segregation, and the profound cultural link these horrible crimes created between white supremacy and Christianity. The cultural bond between European values and Christian beliefs is so deeply woven into the American psyche and thought process that their identification is assumed. White images and ideas dominate the religious life of Christians and the intellectual life of theologians, reinforcing the “moral” right of white people to dominate people of color economically and politically. White supremacy is so widespread that it becomes a “natural” way of viewing the world. We must ask therefore: Is racism so deeply embedded in Euro-American history and culture that it is impossible to do theology without being anti-black?

Race criticism is just as crucial for the integrity of Christian theology as any critique in the modern world.

There is historical precedent for such ideological questioning. After the Jewish Holocaust, Christian theologians were forced to ask whether anti-Judaism was so deeply woven into the core of the gospel and Western history that theology was no longer possible without being anti-Semitic? Recently feminists asked an equally radical question, whether patriarchy was so deeply rooted in biblical faith and its male theological tradition that one could not do Christian theology without justifying the oppression of women. Gay and lesbian theologians are following the feminist lead and are asking whether homophobia is an inherent part of biblical faith. And finally, Third World theologians, particularly in Latin America, forced many progressive First World theologians to revisit Marx’s class critique of religion or run the risk of making Christianity a tool for exploiting the poor.

Race criticism is just as crucial for the integrity of Christian theology as any critique in the modern world. Christianity was blatantly used to justify slavery, colonialism, and segregation for nearly five hundred years. Yet this great contradiction is consistently neglected by the same white male theologians who would never ignore the problem that critical reason poses for faith in a secular world. They still do theology as if white supremacy created no serious problem for Christian belief. Their silence on race is so conspicuous that I sometimes wonder why they are not greatly embarrassed by it.

How do we account for such a long history of white theological blindness to racism and its brutal impact on the lives of African people? Is it because white theologians do not know about the tortured history of the Atlantic slave trade, which, according to British historian Basil Davidson, “cost Africa at least fifty million souls?” Have they forgotten about the unspeakable crimes of colonialism? Author Eduardo Galeano claims that 150 years of Spanish and Portuguese colonization in Central and South America reduced the indigenous population from 90 million to 3.3 million. During the twenty-three-year reign of terror of King Leopold II of Belgium in the Congo (1885-1908), scholarly estimates suggest that approximately 10 million Congolese met unnatural deaths — “fully half of the territory’s population.” The tentacles of white supremacy have stretched around the globe. No people of color have been able to escape its cultural, political, and economic domination.

Two hundred forty-four years of slavery and one hundred years of legal segregation, augmented by a reign of white terror that lynched more than five thousand blacks, defined the meaning of America as “white over black.” White supremacy shaped the social, political, economic, cultural, and religious ethos in the churches, the academy, and the broader society. Seminary and divinity school professors contributed to America’s white nationalist perspective by openly advocating the superiority of the white race over all others. The highly regarded church historian Philip Schaff of Union Seminary in New York (1870-1893) spoke for most white theologians in the nineteenth century when he said: “The Anglo-Saxon and Anglo-American, of all modern races, possess the strongest national character and the one best fitted for universal dominion.”

Present-day white theologians do not express their racist views as blatantly as Philip Schaff. They do not even speak of the “Negro’s cultural backwardness,” as America’s best known social ethicist, Reinhold Niebuhr, often did and as late as 1965. To speak as Schaff and Niebuhr spoke would be politically incorrect in this era of multiculturalism and color blindness. But that does not mean that today’s white theologians are less racist. It only means that their racism is concealed or unconscious. As long as religion scholars do not engage racism in their intellectual work, we can be sure that they are as racist as their grandparents, whether they know it or not. By not engaging America’s unspeakable crimes against black people, white theologians are treating the nation’s violent racist past as if it were dead. But, as William Faulkner said, “the past is never dead; it is not even past.” Racism is so deeply embedded in American history and culture that we cannot get rid of this cancer simply by ignoring it.

There can be no justice without memory — without remembering the horrible crimes committed against humanity and the great human struggles for justice. But oppressors always try to erase the history of their crimes and often portray themselves as the innocent ones. Through their control of the media and religious, political, and academic discourse, “they’re able,” as Malcolm put it, “to make the victim look like the criminal and the criminal to look like the victim.”

Even when white theologians reflect on God and suffering, the problem of theodicy, they almost never make racism a central issue in their analysis of the challenge that evil poses for the Christian faith. If they should happen to mention racism, it is usually just a footnote or only a marginal comment. They almost never make racism the subject of a sustained analysis. It is amazing that racism could be so prevalent and violent in American life and yet so absent in white theological discourse.

President Clinton’s call for a national dialogue on race has created a context for public debate in the churches, the academy, and the broader society. Where are the white theologians? What guidance are they providing for this debate? Are they creating a theological understanding of racism that enables whites to have a meaningful conversation with blacks and other people of color? Unfortunately, instead of searching for an understanding of the great racial divide, white religion scholars are doing their searching in the form of a third quest for the historical Jesus. I am not opposed to this academic quest. But if we could get a significant number of white theologians to study racism as seriously as they investigate the historical Jesus and other academic topics, they might discovered how deep the cancer of racism is embedded not only in the society but also in the narrow way in which the discipline of theology is understood.

(my) original sin(s)

I don’t remember anymore how long ago it was that I threw out the idea of “original sin” as being morally offensive. The idea that anyone is responsible for another’s failings or wrongdoings just couldn’t sit as a part of a rational ethical system for me.

 

Now I am convinced that there is a place for the concept in my personal theology. I still have enough of my evangelical upbringing at heart to believe that theology/ religion is a personal affair and a personal relationship. In my life there are sins of my ancestors that I feel I am culpable for (whiteness, maleness, heterosexuality, middle classness and christianity to name a few). Yes I believe that they are sins/crimes against humanity. Each of these identities describes a set of behaviors and ways of being in the world that is built on the assumption of greater value in life than others who don’t fit the category. To steal from the biblical story of the “fall” the desire to be like god in relation to another, or even more the assumption in action that I am. It is fair in my mind that the guilt of these crimes is inherited because I have fully accepted and adapted to my own use the ways of being in the world they describe.

 

This blog is an attempt to work out my salvation in fear and trembling and find a theory and practice of repentance. I hope that it will also lead to connection with others who are attempting a similar journey and/or will provide critique to help me clarify. Yes I want your help. I’m not looking to feel guikty or sorry for myself I expect the trip to be at least as exciting as it is hard and more than worthwhile.

 

To say I am responsible is not to let god off the hook. I think it is only right that the divinity/divinities be held criminally responsible for the ways their followers relate in the world. It is way to easy an answer to say that perpetrated by christians are bad interpretations. If something serves a purpose often enough you have to stop just saying it’s misused and begin to examine whether it is a tool designed for exactly that purpose.